Infidelity

So, this week I have decided to talk about infidelity. I would like to talk about WHY it is wrong. And it is pretty simple. When you cheat on someone, it is more than just the act that is wrong. It is the lying that usually accompanies it as well. People who cheat on their lovers/partners/wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/etc are the most selfish people in the world. What cheating is essentially saying is...I want to be able to have sex with another person even though I have made a commitment to a different person. Instead of telling them I would like to end my commitment, I would rather have the best of both worlds. I want to be able to have an emotional/sexual relationship that includes societal acceptance and I also want to be able to participate in another relationship with someone else. What is important is MY needs and MY desires and what I want.

No, I do not believe that people should stay in unhappy relationships. That would be a horrible thing. I want people to be rigorously honest with themselves and have the ability to NOT be a coward and admit they either want out of the relationship or at least have a conversation about having an open relationship. I just don't understand. And if we are going to talk about some excuses men give...I have to be ready to vomit. Because they are quite ridiculous. I keep hearing that men believe that they can't settle down with just one woman and that they need variety and whatever other excuse that includes saying "Because I am a man, I have to cheat." That is total bullshit.

Women and are men are socialized differently. It's called gender and gender roles/stereotypes. Because society has placed this sexual savage/uncontrollable kinds of crap of an identity on men....men tend to embrace it rather than refute it because it agrees with their selfish greedy needs. (We are generalizing here, not all men of course. But definitely society's reinforcement!) Let's say, for a moment, that it was true that men just have the desire to have sex with tons of different women (Oh and this is also assuming women don't want to have tons of sex with different men. Which would be false. It's usually society's standards on women that keep them from exploring their sexuality. Anyways. That's another post) and that they just cant "help it"...Okay. That's fine. But their is something called NOT GETTING INTO A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP. There is also this concept called...SELF-CONTROL. This is where the selfish part comes in again. Because you love your partner and make a commitment to not have any other sexual relationships with other people...THAT is what you should do. It's called sacrifice. Male sexuality is NOT uncontrollable. If you submit to your selfish sexual desires do that and call it selfishness...don't call it male sexuality.

And this goes the same for women. I used a very common male excuse but that doesn't mean I condone any kind of the same behavior coming from women. A commitment is just that. If you want an open relationship, get one. Sexual indiscretions don't "just happen." There are usually doubts in relationships wayyyy before.

There are also many possible consequences to cheating. And the possibility of giving your partner an STD. Let's say it all together! "SELFISH"

Feministing article that tells you just ONE of the outcomes of having a selfish, careless, cheating partner.

Oh and by the way. I have never been cheated on. And if and when I do...I don't believe in second chances. Just a little fact about me.